Do you remember when you could stick your finger into the dial and dial a number to talk with a real person answering you, speaking good English and helping you with your problem-? Not anymore, now you will get a recorded message, then possibly from India or Mongolia · Myanmar · Nepal · North Korea · Oman · Pakistan · Palestine; Philippines; Qatar · Russia · Saudi Arabia · Singapore · or South Korea; all for the sake of the company in question to make more money (for whom~?) So I wrote a song to sing while waiting for a real person to come online, played to the old tune of “MUSAC” instead of Rap~!
SONG OF PHONE EFFICIENCY
One o’clock, Lunch is now all through,
I’ll call them now, that’s what I’ll do,
eight, eight, eight, two, two, two.
Ever wonder who will be speaking to you-?
Ring, ring, ting-a-ting, ready to talk with me-?,
Ha, good chance, guess who it is going to be.
Fast, fast, fast, a recorded voice, you see,
“this is, gobble, gobble company, listen said she”.
“If you want to pay your bill, it’s hit one for you,
if you want to check your contract, then just hit two,
if you want to place an order, you should then hit three,
to buy something else, just hit four for me.”
ME-: “oh crap”, I say, so sore-!
Not angry, just a little bit disgusted with her,
a simple expletive, while stomping the floor.
For MY problem, those numbers did not incur-!
“No, hit a number stupid, you can’t talk to me-!
I’m just a dumb computer, don’t you see.
I’m here 24 – 7, to make your life easier to be.
Lets get back to the numbers, we can start with three”.
“If you want to talk to someone, just hit number nine,”
then you listen to more RAP MUSIC, so loud, never fine.
But every minute or two, she then breaks in on time,
“our agents are all still busy, but you are next, in line”.
Looking at the time, I’ve been at for an hour,
and the cream in my coffee has even turned sour,
But do they care, no they are trying to do their job,
and only driving every customer, left to sob.
The company is not really to blame, you see,
they are trying to make more money,
from people like you and me,
to pay bigger bonuses for the powers that be.
By getting away with their very evil lust,
this is their selfish, quick way to cut the costs,
they terminated a needy person without a fuss,
not giving a consideration to the jobs they lost.
CHORUS (sing between each verse)
Hello, hello there, how are you-!,
are you happy with all the things we do,
when I hear you, I’m happy too,
So really nice just not knowing you-!