Do you remember when you could stick your finger into the dial and dial a number to talk with a real person answering you, speaking good English and helping you with your problem-? Not anymore, now you will get a recorded message, then possibly from India or Mongolia · Myanmar · Nepal · North Korea · Oman · Pakistan · Palestine; Philippines; Qatar · Russia · Saudi Arabia · Singapore · or South Korea; all for the sake of the company in question to make more money (for whom~?) So I wrote a song to sing while waiting for a real person to come online, played to the old tune of “MUSAC” instead of Rap~!


One o’clock, Lunch is now all through,
I’ll call them now, that’s what I’ll do,
eight, eight, eight, two, two, two.
Ever wonder who will be speaking to you-?

Ring, ring, ting-a-ting, ready to talk with me-?,
Ha, good chance, guess who it is going to be.
Fast, fast, fast, a recorded voice, you see,
“this is, gobble, gobble company, listen said she”.

“If you want to pay your bill, it’s hit one for you,
if you want to check your contract, then just hit two,
if you want to place an order, you should then hit three,
to buy something else, just hit four for me.”

ME-: “oh crap”, I say, so sore-!
Not angry, just a little bit disgusted with her,
a simple expletive, while stomping the floor.
For MY problem, those numbers did not incur-!

“No, hit a number stupid, you can’t talk to me-!
I’m just a dumb computer, don’t you see.
I’m here 24 – 7, to make your life easier to be.
Lets get back to the numbers, we can start with three”.
“If you want to talk to someone, just hit number nine,”
then you listen to more RAP MUSIC, so loud, never fine.
But every minute or two, she then breaks in on time,
“our agents are all still busy, but you are next, in line”.

Looking at the time, I’ve been at for an hour,
and the cream in my coffee has even turned sour,
But do they care, no they are trying to do their job,
and only driving every customer, left to sob.

The company is not really to blame, you see,
they are trying to make more money,
from people like you and me,
to pay bigger bonuses for the powers that be.

By getting away with their very evil lust,
this is their selfish, quick way to cut the costs,
they terminated a needy person without a fuss,
not giving a consideration to the jobs they lost.

CHORUS (sing between each verse)
Hello, hello there, how are you-!,
are you happy with all the things we do,
when I hear you, I’m happy too,
So really nice just not knowing you-!


3 thoughts on “THAT PHONE~!

  1. I cannot tell you how frustrated these calls make me. After my husband died, I spent a month waiting on phones for Social Security, who within days had sent me a notice that if I did not return his social security check for that month that he died (after the check arrived, but before the end of the month) that they would be pressing charges but who couldn’t answer the phone all day long. Really. One day I sat online waiting for 5 hours and then they hung up because it as the end of their work day! This was to get social security for his youngest son (from another woman) who was only 15 at the time. I was so frustrated at the end of the two months after his death that I moved to Mexico and never returned to the U.S. except for short visits.Now it is the same with computers..You rush to get their form filled out and to go online to your email to get the verification number and when you get back to the website, going a breakneck speed, they tell you you have exceeded the time limit and need to start again. Grrrrr! Enjoyed your entire response… a lot.

    • Oh been there too, my pet one is the people who carry my meds on social security. They use a person who can not speak English living in the Philippines, while people who can not get out to work could do a better job right here at home…. Why do we support a business that sends their work across the world to help people like us who need a good answer to a simple question….. Now hope the rest of our day is better than it started~! Ha~!

  2. I love this — I often put the phone on speaker-phone while I’m waiting, and use that time to respond to blogs and emails! If the time goes over about 30 minutes, I hang up and try again at the beginning of the next day! And the people on the call center phones never speak good English.

    I had a call yesterday from somebody wanting to talk about “that package you are about to receive” — you know, the one we’ve been sending information about because you won the lottery! Growing up in a doctor’s family, we learned that the phone had to be answered — that is pretty ingrained, and I have a hard time not answering calls from anonymous!

    There is a college which publishes an annual “mindset list” of things that the current freshman class have never experienced — the dial telephone was on that list several years ago!

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